Writting it All Down

13 12 2007

I suppose I always put off blogging because I hoped that this would all be over soon. I kept telling myself “next month will be our lucky month.” Surely I’m not the only one who had that delusion. Well, it hasn’t happened yet and there are few things lonelier than infertility, so here I am finally baring my soul. It is terrifying to be facing IUI/IVF, but it is worse to sit and let time pass us by. I remember back when we first decided to start trying I thought I would never try IUI or IVF. That seemed so extreme to me. It is funny how almost 2 years later I am looking at infertility clinics for just that. I’m actually excited about the prospects of finally doing something about our infertility. Bring on the dildo ultrasound, the tests, the injections, all of it. I’m ready for it. Now it is just a matter of getting the ball rolling, which has been the hardest part. Although IUI/IVF brings me a lot of hope, it also means giving up hope of conceiving on our own. It means conceding defeat and confronting the fact that we are in fact infertile. That is a lot to swallow and some days it is easier to just ignore it. Here’s hoping that this blog encourages me to get the testing and referrals so we can move forward!




One response

14 12 2007

hi! thanks for commenting on me.. here’s one for you:
i definitely know what you mean about infertility being a lonely place.. i’ve been trying to reach out, hence my blog.. i’m also on ovusoft.com where i chart. my husband and i move a lot so we don’t really know anyone.. and we’re moving again in january.. plus i’m really shy.. so i don’t know many people. so i definitely feel alone. i think we should stay in touch.. it’s always nice to have someone to talk to who understands this crap. i’d love to hear more about your background.. have you been to a reproductive endocrinologist yet? what have you guys tried so far? i totally completely understand what it feels like to give up and let go of the dream of becoming pregnant naturally.. it does hurt. my husband often says he understands how i feel, but that i won’t care how the baby got there as soon as he/she is in my arms.. i hold on to that.. i really wish you all the best.. i’m sending you tons of encouragement and friendship.. i’ll be stalking your blog!! i hope you keep it updated 🙂

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